Forgive Me - The Christian Online Magazine

As you well know, we have two dogs. And if you’re sick of dog stories, well, cease reading now.

Sophie Mae reached adult behavior by 6 months of age. If she wanted to chew on something like a chair leg, I’d just give her a chew toy instead and saying “Sophie’s toy.” After a couple of times, she’d look at me with a face that said, “well, alright, do you think I’m stupid?” And the problem never presented itself again. She took correction as instruction, learned from it, and went happily on her way. When I told her “good girl, all is forgiven,” she’d say, “oh goodie, let’s play ball!”

Lily Rose, on the other hand, is such a sensitive little soul. She’s so aware of everything she’s ever done that she lives in fear of being murdered by me, which is silly, ’cause I’ve never murdered her even once. Not when she chewed furniture or shoes. Not when she visited the kitty box looking for a midnight buffet. Not when she shredded toilet paper all over the house.

Lily’s way of dealing with anxieties, after destroying something, was to hurl herself on her back and go into leg-kicking spasms of guilt while shrieking, “forgive me, don’t kill me!” Even though I was far from happy about her escapades, we kept working on the anxieties and after about 4 years, the destructive tendencies subsided. But to this day, she seems to have absorbed and held onto everything that she, or Sophie, or every dog in the world, has done wrong. She lives in a constant state of self-imposed guilt and unforgiveness, spasming on the floor at the least little thing. Sometimes for hours, laying there, internally screaming “mea culpa!” She never believes she’s forgiven, even as I’m saying, “let’s play ball.” She’s saying, “no, I can’t play; I can’t forgive myself.”

Which has led me to think about stuff in my own life that I think I can’t forgive myself for. Imagine my surprise the day I realized that God never says anything about that. Because it’s not my job to forgive me. It’s His! Because of what Christ has done on the cross for me, all my sins have been permanently forgiven (Luke 5:20; 1 John 2:12). Now it’s time to move on in joyful communion with Him. If all I do is concentrate on my past sins, or how I might sin tomorrow, I’m fixing my eyes on myself. I should be focusing on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). Because of that, I can experience daily freedom and joy.